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7 Things A Super Mozza (Super Beautiful Woman) Really Wants in Life!

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First of all, we need to define what a super mozza is. A super mozza by our definition is any woman who carries herself really well, takes care of herself, has a huge Instagram following, has great taste in fashion and many creepy admirers. Also, she is opted to get free stuff in her life. We didn’t make up the rules. They really do get free stuff. If you don’t believe us,  just ask your local super mozza. She’ll tell you that she gets pampered with free stuff all the time (but she really won’t tell you that so to avoid extreme awkwardness, it’s better not to ask and just trust us).

Now I know most of us feel intimidated to just try and make conversation with a super mozza however, we got your back. We did the work and the stalking, ahem research, so you don’t have to.

Below is a list (more like a guide) of 7 Things A Super Mozza Really Wants in Life

If you can understand how a super mozza truly thinks, you will be able to become friends with her and maybe (fingers crossed) make her your girlfriend. Talking to you guy-wearing glasses reading this post and getting super excited. Don’t worry; we also got your back. You’re welcome. PROCEED!!!

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU ARE A SUPER MOZZA READING THIS, DON’T BE UPSET, WE’RE ONLY TRYING TO UNDERSTAND ONE ANOTHER. THIS IS JUST A WAY TO OPEN DIALOGUE AND DISCUSS BIGGER ISSUES LIKE WORLD PEACE. ALSO, FEEL FREE TO EMAIL US ANY ADDITIONAL ADVICE TO INFO@ALHEZBELCOMEDY.COM FOR OUR DEAR VIEWERS.

1. No harassment

no harrasment

Super mozzas aside, no woman likes to be harassed. Men should respect themselves and not harass these lovely creatures by any means. Respect yourself and just appreciate without throwing any comments, gestures or anything in between. Here is  an example of what you can do; SHUT YOUR FU*KING MOUTH (if you do, kudos) when a girl walks by you. They don’t want to hear your bullshit street slurs.  They don’t like to be called cats or kittens or any animal for that matter so just chill out. Ok, had to get that out of the way. Now when dealing with a super mozza, don’t gawk (stare profusely) at them. You can fantasize about them later and maybe tell your friends how you saw a super mozza in the street, but don’t be creepy. If you tend to make eye contact, smile and that’s it. Let’s move on.


2. No Instagram stalkers

instagram

Super mozza’s tend to have pretty big Instagram following. I mean these ladies are having everyone and their grandmother follow them on there. Yes, grandmothers are on social media (my grandma just asked me to set up her a Facebook). Best believe it. Now everyone appreciates a super mozza and even forgets sometimes that they are just regular human beings like you and me. They’re really just people. They don’t have superpowers or anything like that. If they did, their only super power is being SUPER FINE!!! Anyways, point is, although they have huge followings, it is a double edge sword that can be quite creepy for them, so it’s probably best not to stalk their Instagram accounts and like all their pictures. Just some advice we wanted to put out there for all you creepy stalkers.


3. A nice guy who listens to them

nice guys

All girls, super mozza or not want a nice guy who can truly listen to them. They want to vent to these poor nice guys who are madly in love with them but don’t have the balls to make a move. Just like the movies guys, they want you to listen. Being a woman isn’t an easy task in the Middle East these days. So they got some sh*t to talk about guys. And all they need is that one nice guy who will literally sit there and listen to their beautiful words leave their voluptuous and pouty lips.


4. A nice guy they can lose themselves in (understand them)

attractive-guy-girl-advice

Ok. This nice guy has the potential to be the boyfriend if he reads these next few words really carefully. So you’re a nice tayeb (humble) guy who happens to be friends with a super mozza. Fear not my friend! We’ll help you. You probably listen to all her problems and her crushes and everything in between. After all, all she wants is to be understood. Normal by any standards but you want to make a move and don’t know how. In these situations, you have to show the super mozza that you’re not attracted to her and that she’s one of the guys. And because everyone else is always giving her attention, she’ll wonder why you consider her one of the guys and never do the same as everyone else. Write this down guys, this is fu*king gold! Anyways, I digress. Once you show her that, she’ll slowly let you enter her world and you’ll start to understand what she really wants. Which moves us on to number 5.


5. Tender, Love and Care

tender love and care
Again, any girl, super mozza or not, only wants tender, love and care. Can’t go wrong with a little TLC. However, you must be already in the super mozza’s life and not someone who’s just trying to “zabbat”. Once you show the super mozza some tender, love and care, she’ll really appreciate it. Signs of this appreciation when showing these emotions might be slight blushing, smiling and feelings of euphoria. And to let you in on a little secret. Super mozzas are even more mozzalicious (full of mozzaness) when they are happy and appreciative. So kudos to you if you can successfully reach those levels. You have gone where only few men have gone and we salute you for that. You’re on your way to making a super mozza your girlfriend. But not just yet…

6. Best friend who doesn’t happen to be a super hot mozza.

nice guy best friend

Ok. So any guy or girl ultimately want their partners to be their best friends. Anyone would. Super hot mozzas included because we shouldn’t single them out just because they already have enough super mozza best friends forever (SMBFF) for short. Now if you are the nice guy who has shown them tender, love and care and have become close to the super mozza, congratulations my friend, you have the potential to be the best friend and lover. If you played your cards right and are truly a nice guy who has given them your soul, you’re this } { close to sealing the deal.  You’re hanging out regularly, making each other laugh, and generally enjoying each other’s company and also love each other very much. All you have to do is proceed to number 7.


7. A nice guy who also has abs carved by angels

abs abs-1

If you’re that nice guy from Number 6 above and have abs that look like they were carved by angels, YOU WIN BRO!!! YOU WIN THE SUPER MOZZA! YOU WIN LIFE! And guys, that’s what a super mozza really wants. A nice guy who is also their best friend and lover, who has incredible abs that drives them insane. Trust me, I don’t have the abs of Greek Gods but from what I hear, they are definitely a plus. Also, if you can make your super mozza laugh constantly and you can cook and hold an awesome conversation without her losing interest, trust me, you got her my friend!

Final Words

Whether or not your a super mozza, you’re still beautiful in the way God created you inside and out. Super mozzas just happen be more beautiful. Just kidding. Anyways, if we are to take something from this article is that super mozzas are just regular human beings like us who want their Super Moz to treat them right. It’s not that hard. Just do as they say. Have an argument from time to time to spice things up( cause they’re into that) and you’ll be fine. Good luck and if you have any additional advice, feel free to comment  below. Happy Eid everyone!

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