4 Suggested Laws That Should Actually Be Laws in Egypt!
DISCLAIMER: This article is not political nor does it serve any political agenda. It’s just an idea being put out there for the sake of being put out there. Oh and it’s suppose to make you think and all that stuff that happens in your head.
Ever feel like the assholes in the street deserve to be punished for all their asshole behavior? We think it’s crucial because they will not learn to be abide by the law if they didn’t have a punishment that really made them think and suffer miserably, but mainly think. But also suffer miserably. You guys get the point. So here are 4 Suggested Laws That Should Actually Be Laws in Egypt because why not right?
1. Citizens on Patrol
The other night I was driving home and saw a car literally parked in the middle of the street. The crazy bad ass mofo in my head wanted to get out of my car, go to my trunk, get my imaginary baseball bat out and bash this guy’s windows. All of them. Imagine a crazy ex-girlfriend that just found out you cheated on her and wanted to get some twisted revenge and she did that to your car. Point is, whether you did cheat or not, just like the selfish people who are inconsiderate of other people and only give a shit about themselves, they deserve to have their car windows bashed. I think this law would do everyone justice if implemented. We basically would get some citizen enforcement and when they try to do something about it, you are legally destroying their car. It just works. And if they threaten your life, LIFE SENTENCE! Boom! See how we got it all figured out?
2. Clean Up Everyone Else’s Garbage
Littering and garbage piles have been a serious problem in Egypt for a while now. Why? Is it maybe because the majority of the people are a bunch of filthy scumbags? Perhaps, but let’s not get into that right now and let’s face the facts; the country is pretty dirty. I’m ashamed when I see piles of garbage outside areas that smell like bad athlete’s foot mixed with rotten eggplant. I know, that sounds gross. And you know what? It really is. Which is why we need to fix this problem. The reason garbage piles up is because we litter, constantly. We see a huge pile of garbage and find it okay to just throw our garbage in it. Monkey see. Monkey do. So here is the big plan that if implemented. Drumroll please….For every person that litters in those huge disgusting garbage piles should clean up the whole garbage pile. I’m talking about get a broom and start sweeping all that horrible sh*t and waiting until the garbage truck comes to pick it up. I’m talking about getting some Aerosol and spraying that horrible smell away until it’s gone. If this law is implemented, then definitely we’ll be seeing more pissed off people cleaning up garbage and perhaps maybe cleaner streets inshAllah.
3. Ban the Microbus
We have to remove this abomination from the streets of our cities. Granted it is a very reliable way for the majority of people to move around but unless they are regulated and don’t cause the problems they do in the streets, they should all be banned indefinitely. Call me crazy and tell me that it might not ever happen but they did just ban Tok Toks in Cairo and one can be wishful. I don’t like to generalize but these guys really cause too many problems in the street. Whether they cut you off, stop suddenly in the middle of the street, park on the side of a busy street so they can get a passenger, this chaos has to end. No developed country in the world has microbuses doing what they do here. So why is Egypt the exception? Why? Can anyone tell me? I say we ban these microbuses for good and decrease traffic, disrespect and everything in between!
4. Ban the Car Horn (in residential areas)
Believe it or not, in civilized places around the world, car horns are banned in residential areas. And also asshole motorcyclists. They’re banned too. I know this might be shocking to the majority of Egyptians because we are a loud bunch right? (not you guys reading this, we’re not the majority just in case you didn’t know). I don’t understand why can’t we live in peace and harmony and without loud noises? My suggestion is to ultimately start by banning the car horn in residential areas; let’s see, perhaps out of respect for the residents living there who don’t want to hear your car horn at 3AM! Good idea right? Well it’s a start. No one sits there and enjoys the loud noises. So by doing this, maybe we can start dreaming of a more peaceful quieter Egypt. One can only hope.
At the end of the day, we’re trying to suggest a better life for everyone in Egypt. So if you liked what you read and want to suggest any other ideas, please feel free to comment below. And don’t forget to enjoy your Eid holiday!
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